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In a number of things I write, I will refer to ‘reading the signs.’  I guess this can sound kind of mysterious or occultish to someone who is not inside my brain, so I will explain what I mean by that.  ‘Reading the signs’ can also be called ‘noticing what the Energy is doing.’  Some examples:

A few years back, I was in the middle of fighting my disease, PNH, at the same time as running around crazy working  a high-hours, but very healthy for me yoga job.  My car started having trouble.

PNH is a disease where your red blood cells break down inside your body prematurely and get peed out.  That is why it is called (for you latin-lovers) paroxysmal nocturnal hemoglobinuria.  Usually the pee is red in the morning. 

Therefore, in order to not die from anemia you have to get blood transfusions periodically.  Back then, it would take about 3 weeks for my hematocrit (the measure of red blood) to go from 30 down to 20.  Then I would get another transfusion to bring it up to 30.  (40-50 would be normal).  Managed this way, it wasn’t really life-threatening, but definitely not a good sign.  I was leaking blood.

About the same time, my car started leaking oil.  Not able to spend the money to stop the leak, I found I was able to manage the problem by just pouring more oil in the car ever 2 fillups or so.  Again, not life threatening, unless I forgot to refill the oil; then the engine would seize up and it would be over.   Both I and my car had a situation where there was a balance between in and out.  We both had a net out flow, that required a periodic in-flow to compensate.  If the in-flow did not keep up with the outflow, then the overall measure in the tank would drop and we would risk serious consequences.

The thing that makes it not just coincidence is that I was learning about energy at the time, how our bodies are affected by our energy, and how things in our life respond to our energy as well.  Living things tend to react to our energy (being attracted to us when our energy is good, for example), but inanimate things we interact with a lot tend to resemble our energy.

Seeing what was happening with my car and my body helped me notice something subtler that was happening in my body at that time.  My thoughts had given up on life (I think this is why I got sick) and began being pulled toward death.  Once I got sick and was ostensibly trying to get better, my mind was having a hard time finding a foothold in the world.  I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing here, what I was supposed to be putting my energy into. 

My thoughts, then, were not being focused into a purpose, or into my getting better.  They were trapped up in big lofty questions about general meaning and purpose in life.  Because my energy had nowhere specific to go in the world or in myself, it was leaking out.  My thoughts, my life-energy, my blood, my car’s oil – all were leaking.  I had to find a way to stop the leak in my energy before things would get better in any of it.

A while later, I had a transformative experience where I listed all the things I wanted to do IN THIS WORLD before I died.  I hadn’t figured the big questions out, but I put some value on the time here on this Earth and made a list of things to do before I left it:  Travel to Argentina and learn to Tango, have kids, give a kickass speech.   I got really excited about this list, and suddenly was motivated to really tackle my disease.  I finally had at least some purpose to MY life.

The next time I saw my doctor, my blood numbers had miraculously shot up to 36.  And instead of dropping down in three weeks. This time it held steady for 2 years.  I had figured out something about how to change my energy.   And everything changed after that.    (my car had a transmission failure in the course of selling it, but that’s another story)

Example 2: (this one is shorter)

I have this bottle of shampoo.  It has been pretty much out of shampoo since I came home from Boston last August.  Three weeks after coming home I thought I was squeezing the last shampoo out of it.

I bought a different shampoo.  But I didn’t throw the old shampoo away.  I wanted to make sure I had gotten ALL of the shampoo out of it before I tossed it. 

Every once in a while, I take a break from the new shampoo and go back to the old one.

And every Single Time, there is more shampoo to be squeezed out of the old bottle.

Every time, it sounds like the last bit.  I squeeze enough to use for that day, then put it back upside down to let it keep dripping down, just in case.

I have been doing that now for nine months.  I have a neverending bottle of shampoo.

That in itself is weird.  But I also have this razor.  I brought it back from Boston, one of those buzzy ones that has a battery in it and vibrates when you shave. 

The battery light started flashing on me when I was back in Boston, and it died for me once I think early after I got here. 

I shave maybe once every 4 days or so. 

Every time I pick up the razor, the battery starts up.  Most times, while using it, the battery goes dead.  I have thought I would have to change that battery now for eight months.  But it just keeps working.

Now, my car again.  May car has a strange problem.  One time, driving at night, it died in the middle of the road.  It was at an intersection.  It wouldn’t start, all these cars had to drive around me.  My brother Mike had to come and he and three strangers helped me push it to a nearby parking lot.

The next day, our friend, Rick, came to help me troubleshoot what was wrong with the car.  I tried to start it.  It started right up.  I drove it home.  We couldn’t find anything wrong. 

It drove like that for quite a few months.  The other day, when I was heading to church, it wouldn’t start again.  I tried to get the thing started for 45 minutes.  It would turn over, but just not fire.  I called my brother, who knows a lot about cars.  I didn’t have time to try the things he mentioned.  I borrowed Mike’s car.

Today, I had to go somewhere.  I got into my car.  It started right up.  As if nothing had been wrong.  Just like the battery that won’t die, or the shampoo that won’t run out.  Just when you think its done and some drastic change will be needed, all it takes is some time, and the thing just takes care of itself.

So what’s the energy doing in this case?  Well, for me, I know my life habit has always been to push things to the limit.  Often I overdo it.  My style of working is that I run myself down.  Its as if I’m running near empty, most the time.   I have trouble sleeping unless I’ve collapsed of exhaustion.

What all these things are teaching me now, what the energy is saying, is that sometimes I just have to have patience, slow down a little.  And often the things I was anxious about just take care of themselves.

That is what I have been learning, too.  In the course of starting my own business, there are plenty of opportunities to overdo it, work too hard.  Not easy when you have a girlfriend you love to spend time with and a sick Mom you want to be there for.

But what I am noticing is, usually, the best method of dealing with an overwhelming workload, a stubborn job I have to turn out, etc, is to take a break.  Just when the pressure is the worst, go out and play some basketball.  Take the afternoon off.  Stretch, make a good meal.  Catch a movie or hang with my bro or AM or mom.  I used to not be able to escape the pressure.

But what’s happening now, is that most the time, when I am taking a break, I get a text message or email.  Oh, the deadline’s been moved back.  Oh, something else happened so we don’t need that right away.  Or the space gives me some clarity and when I come back to work it gets whipped out.

So, reading the signs, or watching what the energy is telling you.  Is it us?  Is it God, or a message from the outside?  I really don’t know.  At times it seems like either. 

But what I do know is, when you have something that stands out to you, a little bit out of the ordinary for the world or for your life, and then you see a similar thing happening with something else, and again, pay attention.  Usually something is going on there which, if you figure it out, will help you a lot. 

Happy noticingJ